The Planning Begins

So the city of Dresden has invited my mother and a companion to be their guests and they will pay for all expenses except the companion's airfare. My mother INSISTS this trip is her treat and she wants to take me on a "first-class vacation." She tells me not to worry about a thing and that I should leave all the planning to her. Have I mentioned that the last time my mother was in Europe was more than thirty years ago and that she hasn't flown anywhere in at least a dozen years? That she drives - ALONE - from Cleveland to Florida each year because she can't be bothered with restrictions like flight departure schedules? She also can't be bothered with restrictions like seat belts, but that may be a story for another time. Maybe as soon as when we are flying to Germany and she doesn't want to buckle up during take-off.

The first thing my mother wants to know is where else I want to go after the week-long program in Dresden. She reasons, "We're there already, we should shpatzere around and see what's doing." I say, "OK, but let's pick one more place to go; where would you like to visit?" She replies, "Wherever YOU want to go, I'll be happy just being with you." I tell her I will give it some thought and let her know. The next time we talk, I say that I would like to go visit Munich or Berlin. She says "Aren't those both in Germany?! I don't want to stay there! I want to go to Italy, France, and Switzerland." I suggest she might want to narrow it down a bit more and pick one or maybe two cities. We agree that we will talk again soon and she will let me know where she would like to go after Dresden.

The next time we talk, mom excitedly asks "Have you decided where you want to go after Dresden?" I remind her that she was going to pick a place, and she says, "No this is MY TREAT to you; I want to go wherever you want to go!" As long as wherever is not in Germany.....
Several days and a trip to the library later, I suggest we go to Budapest. She agrees - "PERFECT!" I tell her that we should book our flights soon so we can get the best fares. I offer to make the reservations and she insists that she will do it. We leave it at that and over the next few weeks, this is far from my thoughts because 1) Lauren is returning from Australia after five months and 2) I am preparing for a five-day business meeting in Colorado, with several days tacked on the end for vacation.

I return home on July 13th and when I speak to mom the next day I discover that she hasn't made any plans for our trip. I suggest that I make them, and she reluctantly agrees. "OK, if you think you can do it better..." She reiterates that she wants to travel first-class. I remind her that the program has only offered to pay tourist class travel and that first class will be very VERY expensive. She says "I'm sure it will only be a few hundred dollars more and I'm happy to pay. I decide it isn't worth debating the price difference and tell her I will get prices and we will talk again. "One more thing!" she says, "I want you to book the flights using my Capital One points!" "How many points do you have?" I ask. "Lots" she answers. OK, so I don't have a Capital One credit card, have no idea how their program works, but I figure I can easily find out. I tell her I need her credit card number. "Why do you need that?" she wants to know. After much more conversation, she puts the phone down to go find her wallet. This takes no less than five minutes, during which time she is yelling from various parts of the house "Hold on, I can't find my purse!" Finally, FINALLY, she returns to the phone and says "I found it!" I ask her to read me the number on the card. She says "Wait, I need to get my glasses." Again she goes searching, yelling from various parts of the house "Hold on, I can't find my glasses!" Another few minutes and she is back. "OK" she says, "I'm back! Here is the number." I thank her, tell her I will let her know what I find out and we hang up. I consider drinking vodka straight out of the bottle through a straw, but settle on a tall glass of wine.....