Using Capital One Points is Easy!

Now I am armed with my mother's credit card number and have gotten the phone number for Capital One points redemption off their Web site. Here is how the first call goes:



Hilda: "Hello thank you for calling Capital One this is Hilda how may I be be of service?"

Me: "I would like to find out about redeeming points."

Hilda: "I will be happy to help you. What is your credit card number?"



I recite the numbers my mother read to me off her card.....



Hilda: "Thank you. And the name on the card?"

Me: "Marge Schwartz"

Hilda: "Last four numbers of your social?"



I know she doesn't mean MY social so I give her the last four numbers of mom's.



Hilda: "Thank you. How can I help you?"

Me: "I would like to know how many points my mother has and how those points can be used for travel."

Hilda: "To whom am I speaking?!"

Me: "I am Marge Schwartz's daughter."

Hilda: "I am sorry, but I cannot give you any information. The cardholder will have to call herself."

Me: "Oh...my mother is 83 years old and has asked me to make this call."

Hilda: "I'm sorry, I cannot give you the information. She will have to call herself."

Me: "Clearly I have all her information so isn't there something you can do to help me?"

Hilda: "That is impossible. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

Me: "No, thank you"

Hilda: "I hope I have provided you with excellent service today."

Me: "Yes, it was stellar (tongue is securely in cheek as I am speaking.) Thank you again."

Hilda: "Thank you for calling Capital One!"



As I hung up, I think she was saying something about me being randomly chosen for a short phone survey, but I pretend I don't hear. As soon as I get a dialtone again, I press redial. Here is how phone call #2 goes:



Bertha: "Hello thank you for calling Capital One this is Bertha how may I help you?"

Me: "I would like to find out about redeeming points"

Bertha: "I will be happy to help you with that. What is your credit card number?"



I go through the EXACT same exchange as the one I had moments before with Hilda, except this time I'm smarter. I PRETEND I AM MY MOTHER and Bertha is all too happy to give me the information I am seeking. She informs me that I (OK, my mother) has 794 Capital One points, which means that "I" can use them to purchase an airline ticket for UP TO $794. If the ticket costs $795, all bets are off because you cannot apply points as partial payment. Bertha asks if I would like to be connected to their travel department. I ask if I must make arrangements through them, she says no, and we end our conversation.



Next, I go online to see how much tickets are going to cost. I find out that the cheapest roundtrip ticket to Dresden is $838 from Cleveland (that's where mom lives) and $922 from Chicago. OK, Capital One points are not going to work. I next check out fares from Chicago to Dresden and from Budapest back to Chicago. $1,084 - not bad and then we won't have to get ourselves back to Dresden (which is not a direct flight from ANYWHERE) Just for the heck of it, I check what upgradable tickets will cost. The fare on a United flight is $2,800 per person, plus 60,000 miles per person to upgrade to business class. Mom and I are out of luck again. Although my husband and I have accrued hundreds of thousands of miles over the years, we are very low after our recent trip to Australia. One more thing before I call mom back - let's see how much it is to PURCHASE business class seats. A few keystrokes later and I get the astounding price of $5,800 PER TICKET. Time to call mom with some options.



Here is how the conversation with mom goes:



Me: "Hi Mom! I've gotten some information on flights to Dresden for us."

Mom: "What?! Wait, I can't hear you. Hold on a minute!"


Mom puts the phone down, yells from across the room that she can't find the remote. Yells again that she is going to turn the TV off manually. Yells ONE MORE TIME to ask where the off button is on her TV. Then I hear her laughing and she is back on the line.



Mom: "Hello? Are you there?"

Me: "Yes, I'm here"

Mom: "Who is calling?"

Me: "It's me, Mom"

Mom: "Oh, hi! So did you make all our plans?"

Me: "No, because there are several options and I want to go over them with you."

Mom: "OK, good!"

Me: "So, you can fly coach to and from Dresden for $838 and my fare would be $932."

Mom: "Why is it more for you to come from Chicago?"

Me: "Because each city has it's own fare base."

Mom: "Well, then why don't you fly to Cleveland and we'll leave together from here?"

Me: "Because flights from Cleveland go through Chicago, so I would be flying from Chicago to Cleveland, back to Chicago, connecting in Frankfurt and then on to Dresden. It will wind up costing more money once I fly roundtrip from Chicago to Cleveland."

Mom: "I'm sure you didn't get the right information. It shouldn't be more to fly from Chicago than from Cleveland, but OK, go on. What else did you find out?"

Me (using relaxation breathing techniques I've learned in yoga): "Another option is to fly to Dresden and home from Budapest. That will cost a few hundred dollars more per person, but it will save us the time and cost of getting back to Dresden at the end of the trip."

Mom: "Then let's do that! Can I pay for your ticket using my Capital One points?"

Me: "Don't worry about that. I'll pay for my own ticket."

Mom: "ABSOLUTELY NOT! THIS IS MY TREAT!"

Me: "Well, you only have 794 points, which will only pay for a ticket UP TO $794."

Mom: "How do you know how many points I have?"

Me: "I called Capital One"

Mom: "How do you have my credit card number?"

Me: "You gave it to me."

Mom: "Well, I'm sure you didn't get the right information. I have lots of points."

Me: "Do you want to call yourself?"

Mom: "Yes, I'll call and I'll book the flights."

Me: "OK, do you want the flight numbers?"

Mom: "No, I don't need them"

Me: "Well, call me when you have some information."

Mom: "I will! I'm getting so excited, aren't you?"

Me: "Yes"

Mom: "I'll call you tomorrow. Love you!"

Me: "Love you too! Good-bye!"



It is the third week of July. We are supposedly leaving for this trip in six weeks and we STILL have NO PLANS. I continue with my yoga breathing as I calmly walk into the kitchen to get a straw, put it in the vodka bottle and take a long, slow drink......