Should I Take My Computer

Mom called this morning to ask me whether I thought she should take her computer. Let me just give you some background here. Mom has a desktop circa 1995 that she has only EVER used for email. She has an aol account and uses dial up service. When I have suggested that she get high speed internet, she says it's just a waste of money. About a year ago, mom saw an ad in the Cleveland paper for a laptop computer. It was only $500 and mom thought that was a great deal so she went out and bought it for herself. Over the next several weeks we had many, MANY phone conversations and I tried to walk her through things like turning it on. Finally I suggested she take a basic computer class through her local high school or village program. "Great idea!" she exclaimed. But as you can already guess, from then until now she has not had time to look into classes that might be offered.

About three months after mom got her laptop, we were there for a visit and she wanted me to show her how to work her computer. By then she knew how to turn it on, so she excitedly took it into the living room, powered it up and we waited......and waited.....and waited. Nothing happened. I asked if it was low on battery and she said "It's a new computer! The battery shouldn't be dead. I'll take it back if it's no good." So problem #1 was that mom had never - not once - plugged in the computer. "It's a laptop" she argued. "It shouldn't need to be plugged in!"
I got the plug (still in the box) and powered it up. Mom exclaimed "You're so smart! You got it to work! Mitchell, come look!"

What came next was truly amazing. She started aol and then called me over so I could see that it was broken on this computer. I told her that since she had dial up internet service, she needed to plug a phone line into the computer in order to get internet service. She couldn't believe it. I mean, SHE COULD SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE WHAT I WAS SAYING. "So I bought this for nothing?? If I still have to be plugged in, then why do I need it?"

OK, now that you have the background on mom's laptop, you can truly appreciate how hilarious it is that she wants to bring it to Europe. I ask her what she would do with the computer on our trip and she says (you might want to swallow if you are drinking something now) "So I can talk to Mitchell on email while we are flying." "Mom" I say, "First of all, it will be nighttime when we are flying. Secondly, you cannot get internet service on board a plane." She says (honestly, I swear this is true) "No, no, I just saw a picture of a movie star on a plane in one of my magazines and she was on her computer. I'm going to call someone to check it out. I think you are wrong."

By now, I have to admit that I am holding the phone between me and Mitchell so that he can hear this conversation. "OK mom, you check it out. I've got to go now. Love you!" "Love you too" she replies. "I'm getting so excited!"

We leave in five days. The trip is two weeks. MUST keep my sense of humor......